Whether you get fired or laid off, losing your job has the same effect: IT MAKES YOU WANT TO SCREAM! Going outside and having a good scream can be good for you, just make sure you come inside and follow it up with a good cry. It sucks to lose your job, it's like getting punched in the stomach (I know because I've been there). Look, the reason why I say to scream and cry is our first point:
- Don't hold it all inside, let those emotions out! When we are going through difficult situations in life, we tend to bottle it up inside. The problem is that nothing can stay bottled up forever, eventually it will come out in a nuclear explosion of emotions. Have you ever experienced this in your life? Let me answer this for you, yes you have! There's been times in my life when my wife would constantly ask me what's wrong and I would say "nothing", by the end of that night the fourth of July was happening at our house (sorry hunny!). Share what's going on with your significant other, share what you are going through with your friends, just don't bottle it up inside. On a serious note, if you feel like you can't talk to anyone in your life, you can email me at kconstable29@gmail.com and I'll be there for you any way I can (I've been there and understand). Once you have gotten everything off your chest:
- Keep your self distracted with everything positive! The very next morning after the job loss, wake up early, throw on some workout clothes, grab your I Pod, and go outside for a long run or walk! Do this every morning, this will keep your mind and body distracted (and you can lose a little weight, which is never a bad thing). While you are on that run or walk, make sure you're only listening to things that are positive, no garbage music or cheesy romance novels (you need to lift yourself up, not drag yourself down). When you get home, make sure you're only doing things that are positive. This might mean turning off those garbage, waste of time TV shows. READ A BOOK! Look as a practical matter, you just lost your job, who cares who won American Idol (they're making money while you're sitting there watching them jobless, seems pretty dumb!). You have to be positive not only for your self but for everyone in your house that are looking to you for guidance for what's next! Also make sure you:
- Hold on to your wife or partner for dear life! Look you're angry, scared, sad, and depressed, take these feelings you have and multiply them by 10 and you'll understand what your wife or partner feels like. They are scared out of their mind, not matter how strong of a front they put on. Not to get sexist, but women have a larger security gland then men do, so what do you think of job loss does for that security gland? I know your scared, but suck it up and comfort her any way you can. Show your partner extra affection, be honest with them and hear what they have to say (you need to be their sounding board). Hold tight to each other and put up a united front that your children see (their scared too!). Go for walks together at night when the kids are sleeping, and just talk about random stuff, don't talk about the stupid job you just lost! HOLD ON TIGHT AND DON'T LET GO! In this same spirit:
- Don't scare your kids! Look, you always want to be honest with your kids, but you have to decide what they're old enough to know. You don't want to give a bunch of details to your 8 year old, they shouldn't have to process that information! Make sure your wife and you put up that strong front so they can go to bed at night without any nightmare's of living on the street. You have to remember that kids make everything bigger in their minds, so them hearing about a job loss could be them ending up in foster care in their little minds. That's why the first point is so important (staying positive) because kids can sense and feel all that tension in and around you, they don't need that. It's your job as a parent to make them feel safe, so be strong and stop thinking about yourself!
Look, I hate to leave it here but if you want to see more, tune in to my next post. I'd like to continue this discussion and give you some practical tips on what to do and how to get through it. If you've lost your job and just want to talk, don't hesitate to email me! Here's some food for thought before next time: Do you have a back up plan for if you lost your job?
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